SPICES, SILENCE, AND SELF-LOVE.

This week, I chose myself. I took a solo journey to another county, Mombasa, walking into a place where no one knew my name, where I carried only my heart, my questions, and the quiet courage I have been growing.

I went alone. Not because I had no one, but because I needed space. Some doors, once closed, must remain closed. Some nests, once disturbed, are no longer safe. And choosing not to let certain people back in was an act of self-respect, not bitterness.

I am proud of myself. That deep, steady pride that settles in your chest when you realize you’ve done something brave, something for you. The kind of pride that whispers, You are becoming.

This year feels different. It feels like my time. A year of healing that does not rush, of discoveries that arrive softly, of listening to my soul without fear. I didn’t know what this trip would bring, but it brought me self-care and the gentlest form of love, the kind you give yourself.

I wandered through Marikiti Market, where the air is heavy with stories and spice. The scent of coffee danced with cardamom, cinnamon clung to my breath, and life moved in colors and rhythm. Mabuyu on my tongue,kashata melting sweet and sticky,corosho crunching between moments, mmmhh…what a beautiful, grounding joy.

Somewhere between the stalls and the footsteps, I found answers I had been chasing from afar. It turns out the reflection I needed was closer than I thought, waiting patiently for me to slow down. I listened. I understood. I decided how I want this year to unfold.

I whispered my desires to the Almighty, trusting that what I have asked for is already making its way to me. I stood before the ocean, that endless, honest witness, breathing in the salty air, letting it cleanse parts of me I didn’t know were tired. I admired the beautiful artwork on my hands, each line a story, each pattern a reminderthat I am still creating myself.

In that moment, I felt like a diver again, like a young girl on her first adventure, eyes wide, heart open, unafraid of depth. I remembered how to marvel. How to feel free.

Peace found me there. Quiet, unforced, whole. Even with the ache of being far from my babies, I knew this was what I needed. I have learned that it is okay to seek peace. It is okay to take a solo trip. It is okay to choose yourself without guilt, without apology.

Now, I return, happy, lighter, and relaxed. Carrying the ocean in my breath, the market in my senses, and a calm certainty in my heart.

I am healing. I am discovering. And I am becoming.